


An assassins daughter

by Yourfavoritmarvel



Category: Avengers, Captain America, Marvel
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, I Just Got Bored, Minor Character Death, PTSD, Reader Insert, avengera family, everybody lives in the tower, im sorry i suck at tags, some violence, this is all on tumblr, well they don't die during the fic it's before this takes place
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-04-27 20:17:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5062606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yourfavoritmarvel/pseuds/Yourfavoritmarvel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So pretty much the reader is Bucky's daughter. It's kind of self explainatory. The tags are giant spoilers sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys this is on my tumblr under the user name yourfavoritemarvel. Also if you reading for he winter hawk it's more of a background and it doesn't come in for a while sorry I mean you should still read this though

"Who is she exactly?" Fury asks. He and Steve are staring at you through the glass. They just brought you in from a recent hydra base raid. You were the only unidentified person there but you were violent and deadly so the tranquilized you and the next thing you know you were waking up in some sort of holding room made of glass.  
"We don't know. Tony is running every possible recognition test there is but she's a ghost. No DNA fingerprints it's like she's never existed." Steve says. He is still in uniform.  
"Call the Maximoffs see if the recognize her same with Barnes." Fury commands before walking away.  
"With all due respect sir," Steve starts. Fury stops in the doorway facing away from Steve "I don't think Bucky is in a condition to try and remember those days. What he does remember is painful, and it's unlikely she knew him anyways." Fury sighs and turns in the doorway to face Steve again.   
"Look ask the twins. If they don't know and Tony can't find anything new then he may be our only shot. Nobody that works with hydra is going to tell us who she is. So just we may need to Steve." He responds. The fury walks away leaving you strapped to a hospital bed and Steve staring at you through the glass. He stares for a few more minutes before he leaves and you let out a sigh you didn't know you were holding in.  
-a few days later-  
"Hey Bucky. We need a favor." Steve says. He is standing in front of Bucky with Natasha and Clint in the kitchen.  
"We found this girl at a base, and no one can figure out who she is. You think you could go down to her cell and see if you know her." Clint tells Bucky.  
"You don't have to but it would be really helpful if you could." Steve says. Bucky just nods.  
"She's young, and aggressive has (y/h/c) hair and (y/c) eyes. A good fighter quick knows where to hit and when. She's been trained and well." Natasha adds. Bucky just gets up and walks towards the elevator. When he notices no one is coming with him he turns and looks at Steve.  
"You coming or you just going to stare Steve?" Bucky asks. Steve nods and jogs into the elevator. "So Maximoffs didn't know them?" Bucky asks. His rehabilitation was going well. He was talking again and even though he didn't remember much from his old self, he remembered enough to make him trust Steve.   
"No. Wanda said she may have seen a picture of her once, she looked familiar but she doesn't know why. Speedy had no idea who she was." Steve says. The elevator is getting closer to the floor they were keeping you on.  
"Did you have Wanda try to do the mind stuff? I mean that could work right?" Bucky asks while exiting the elevator.  
"She won't do it with out this girl's consent. But anytime someone walks into her room she goes crazy and gets violent. We have to knock her out everyday so Bruce can check her injuries." They approach the door. "You ready for this?" Steve asks.  
"Steve I can handle looking at a girl." Bucky says opening the door. He stopped the second he saw you. You were asleep but started to wake up when you heard the door.   
"Bucky do you know this girl?" Steve asked. Bucky stayed silent.  
"что ты здесь делаешь (what are you doing here)?" You asked staring him down through the glass. Bucky flinched when he heard your voice. "а вы собираетесь ответить, или вы только собираетесь смотреть (well are you going to answer or are you just going to stare)" you asked again, you got off the bed and stood up. This time Bucky walked towards the door to your cell.  
"Bucky wait don't do that!" Steve yelled. Bucky kept going and unlocked the door pausing only to answer Steve.  
"She won't hurt me Steve." Bucky said.  
"How do you know that?" Steve asked, taking a step forward one arm stretched out as if it could change Bucky’s mind.  
"Because she's my daughter." Bucky replied opening the door and stepping in, letting it slam behind him. Steve's jaw dropped.  
“What are you doing here?” Bucky asked you. He stood by the door arms crossed, feet spread shoulder width apart. Ready to subdue you if necessary.  
“I could ask you the same thing.” You replied, your voice dripping with snark and resentment. “I thought you were in cryofreeze.”  
“I got out about 6 months ago.” Bucky answered. “Steve rescued me.”  
“Oh good. Your precious childhood friend rescued you. Glad to see someone in the Barnes family got a happy ending.” You laid back down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “Don’t you have anything better to do than stare at me?” you shot. Bucky didn’t respond he just left, he walked out of your room and into the elevator, Steve chasing after him.  
“Bucky… What the hell was that?” Steve asked sliding into the elevator at the last second. Bucky was sitting on the floor head thrown back knees brought up with his arms around him.  
“That was me meeting my daughter for the first time since I killed her mother when she was 10.” Bucky said.  
“What?” Steve said staring in disbelief.  
“About 25 years ago, they pulled me out of cryofreeze, sent me on a deep undercover mission with this chick. Mission was like a year long, towards the end of it... relations happened.” Bucky explained. “Once it was done we came back I went back in, and I never thought I would see her again. Next time they pull me out I have a daughter named (Y/N) (L/N)-Barnes. That’s just what would happen, they would pull me out send me on a mission I would have lunch with her at some point and then they would wipe me and put me under. Last time I saw her she was like 10, her mom started causing problems they told me to take her out. So I did, and then I saw a picture of (Y/N), and all the memories came back. Sort of like with you, but instead they came all at once. I went and found her, I was going to run away and raise her myself. But they found us, took her away and put me back under, but only this time they amped up the wiping system so I couldn’t even make my own choices. I just went on like that for years.”   
“How did you…?” Steve asked, trailing off not knowing where his question was going.  
“I went through my file found the mission with her mom and explored the file, found out everything that happened. I thought they killed (Y/N) that’s why I never mentioned it.” Bucky said. The elevator stopped, Bucky got out and walked straight into his room. Steve sat on the couch in disbelief, Bucky had a daughter. A daughter who was their age.  
-One week later-  
You and Bucky sat in your cell again, Steve outside standing watch like always. This had gone on for a week now, Bucky would bring you food and sit. The first day he brought you some clothes so you were out of your battle uniform. Unfortunately he didn’t seem to realize how small you really were so all the clothes he brought were about 3 sizes too big, you pretended not to love it.  
“Well thanks for the food.” You said, usually that was when Bucky left you. But this time he just nodded let out a little grunt. “What do you want?” you asked, you knew he wanted something else. No one volunteered to stay near you this long, especially after you just half dismissed them like that.  
“What happened to you after I left?” he asked. He was biting his metal thumb, he did that a lot when he was thinking you noticed.   
“What do you mean?” you asked. “What happened to me after mom died, and the stuck you in cryofreeze?” Bucky just nodded, and you sighed. “I went to a few different secret spy schools, and then I spent half of high school undercover at a Russian boarding school. Spent my last few years hopping from one facility to the next. Once I graduated it was just mission after mission. Then about six months ago they stuck me on security for a research facility. That’s when your friends found me.”  
“How many?” He asked you. You knew what he was talking about, how many people have you killed for hydra.  
“I lost count.” you admitted. “Probably too many.” You saw him wince but decided not to mention it.  
“Okay.” You sat there again in awkward silence for a while until Steve came in and told Bucky they had to go to a meeting. You waved good bye as the two super soldiers left. They walked out of your room and into the elevator.  
“So what meeting is this Steve?” Bucky asked leaning against the rails of the elevator. Steve was doing the same on the opposite side of the elevator.  
“A meeting about (Y/N).” Steve said. Bucky raised his eyebrows, he hadn’t been informed about any meeting about (Y/N). “We have to discuss what’s going to happen to her. The whole team is going to be there.” Steve said as he stepped off the elevator. Bucky quickly followed behind him.  
“What do you mean, what’s going to happen to her.” Bucky asked, stepping in front of Steve and putting his hands up to stop him.  
“Bucky we can’t just leave her in there. We have to do something with her, so the team is meeting to see what we should do.” He pushed past Bucky and walked into the conference room. Bucky stood outside for a second before following him in.  
Mostly everybody was already there, Coulson, Natasha, Bruce, Wanda, Pietro, Sam, Rhodey and Vision. A few minutes later Clint dropped down from the ceiling with a jar of peanut butter and two spoons. He sat next to Natasha and handed her the other spoon, it was customary that they shared a snack during meetings. Tony strode in a second later covered in grease.  
“Well let’s get this going shall we.” Steve said. He passed out your file to everybody. “This is (Y/N) (L/N).”  
“Barnes. Her last name is (L/N)-Barnes. It’s hyphenated.” Bucky said clarifying. Everybody stared at him. “Just saying.”  
“Anyways, she is currently sitting in the holding cell on floor 63. We can’t keep her there any longer and we need to figure out what to do with her.” Steve continues.  
“If I may, Captain,” Coulson starts. “SHIELD recommends one of our facilities.We can ensure her safety as well as the safety of others.” A few people in the room nod.  
“You’re not putting my daughter in one of those places.” Bucky says. “I have seen the inside of those, she isn’t going there.”  
“What do you suggest then Robocop?” Tony asks, before leaning over to steal Clint’s spoon of peanut butter.   
“I don’t know but not that.”  
“I have an idea, and no it doesn’t include blowing anything up.” Tony starts. “What about a probationary period here.”  
“What do you mean?” Natasha asks.  
“Like what you did with me. Keep me on house arrest supervision 24/7. Give her a job and keep her here until whenever.” Tony clarifies.  
“That’s not actually a bad idea.” Bruce says. A few other people in the room shake their heads.  
“I can tell you now if we don’t have to fund it Fury will be fine with it. Just make sure she doesn’t go crazy and murder people.” Coulson says before leaving the room.  
-The next day-  
As usual Bucky walked in to your room with a tray of breakfast food at 9 am. Today it was waffles with strawberries and nutella, surprisingly your favorite. You noticed Steve wasn’t watching you guys like he usually was.  
“Where is the star spangled body guard?” you ask. Before digging into the waffle, it was a million times better than it looked.  
“Up stairs. Hey so umm I wanted to talk to you real fast.” Bucky said, you just nodded enjoying the waffle too much to speak.  
You “So we can’t keep you here anymore…” he began, you stopped eating. “But we have an offer if you want."   
"Okay... what is it?" You said skeptically.  
"Probation. You stay with us in the tower someone watching you nearly all the time. We give you some sort of job and then once that's up we can decide what to do from then." Bucky said. You debated turning him down, you didn't know him well not anybody else. Not to mention you've tried to kill almost everybody in the tower. Then again SHIELD prison didn't sound too peachy.   
"Okay." You said eating more of the waffles.  
"Okay?" Bucky asked as if he expected a different answer.  
"Okay." You said again nodding. "So exactly what are the rules to this?" You asked Bucky took a deep sigh before laying it all out for you. Someone has to be on the same floor as you at all times, not necessarily the same room but at least the same floor, if you had to leave the tower for any reason which you shouldn't, someone has to go with you, and stay with you. You had to do something everyday, whether it was helping someone train or helping Tony and Bruce in the lab didn’t matter, you just couldn’t sit around and do nothing. The last part was a bit of a shock though.  
“I must participate in all Avengers team bonding activities?” You repeated smirking. “So what do you guys have like movie night or something cheesy like that?” you thought he was kidding.  
“Yeah every Thursday, and Sundays we have team dinner and we take turns cooking. Oh and we take turns grocery shopping.” You stopped laughing, and looked at him like he was crazy.  
“Do you sit in circles and braid each other’s hair too? I mean cap’s hair is a little short but i'm sure I could get it done and Tony looks like he could definitely get a good french braid onto someone.” Bucky laughed. “I’m serious it’s like you're co-dependent or something.”  
“No apparently it's what regular families do. It was in place before I got here.” You both sat there laughing for a second. “Oh also you need something to do with a non-avenger.”  
“What does that mean?” A non-avenger? Everybody you would have contact with was an avenger how would that even work.  
“Most of us take a class or something with Pepper, Tony’s girlfriend. Bruce goes to science conventions with Thor’s girlfriend, Steve volunteers at the nursing home with Fury’s wife. Stuff like that.”  
“What do you do?” You asked. The only thing you knew how to do was the stuff you were trained to do, so kill and be sneaky about it.  
“I am part of a book club with this friend of Thor’s, Darcey. Its pretty cool we read science fiction novels and stuff. I know it sounds weird but it’s nice to have something to look forward to.” Bucky told you with a shoulder shrug.  
“I don’t really have any hobbies.” you admitted, hobbies were hard to find when you worked for a secret supervillain organization.  
“It’s fine. We can think of something.” You sat there and stared at each other for a while. “So if you want you can move in tomorrow.” You nodded in agreement. “I share a floor with Steve right now, but Tony is redesigning one for us right now.”  
“That’s a lot of work, he doesn’t have to do-” You started to say but then Steve walked in and interjected.  
“Trust me we have told him that. He does it for everybody.” He hands you a stack of papers. “Here is a list of all the floors and what they contain. You can go anywhere you want really if not FRIDAY will lock you out of the area.” You raised your eyebrows not knowing who FRIDAY was. “She is the AI Tony has running the place. She controls pretty much everything, well she can but she doesn’t have to if you don't want her to.” Steve explains.  
“Sweet so you guys have your own Smart House. Hope she doesn’t keep you guys from dating.” You laughed to yourself before realizing the super soldiers didn’t get the reference. “Okay remind me to show you all the live action Disney movies from the 90’s.” They just nodded.  
“Okay then. Did you decide on an activity yet? Not to push but we want to get that going as soon as possible.” Steve explained.  
“No. I don’t really have any talents other than murder.” You told them, you saw Bucky wince and felt bad. this probably isn’t the way he wanted his daughter to turn out. By the looks of it Steve say his reaction too.  
“Have you ever tried dancing?” He asked. “Particularly swing dancing.” Bucky shot him a look, that was half murderous half confused. “Because Bucky used to be quite the swing dancer back in the day, might be worth a try see if it carried on.”  
“Might as well.” You agreed. At least this way you might have more in common than hydra, and assassinations.  
“Okay then.” Steve started to leave but he turned back around as if he forgot something. “Also here is a tablet with a bunch of websites open, Tony says to pick out everything you want, it’s on him.” You took the tablet and saw that most of these were expensive stores.  
“He doesn’t have to do this, I mean clothes get expensive.” You said going to hand the tablet back to Steve.  
“He insists. I mean if you really want I can take you shopping one day. Buy some other stuff you might be more comfortable with.” Bucky said, he seemed genuine so you just nodded as if to say thanks.  
“Okay, well have fun. There is a list in the packet to make sure you have everything you need, if something isn’t on there just tell someone and we can get it for you.” With that Steve left.  
“So where do we start?” you asked Bucky who was looking over the packet.  
-The next day-  
“Okay so all you clothes are here in labeled drawers but you can reorganize if you want, also everything on your floor is voice activated, but there are also buttons and stuff so if you want you can use those.” Tony said he just finished giving you the tour of the whole tower but he saved your floor for last.  
“Thanks again Tony.” You said before stepping off the elevator.  
“Don’t thank me yet.” And with that you stepped onto your floor. “Welcome home baby barnes.” The floor was perfect to say the least.  
The living room was connected to the kitchen separated by a small bar. It had a dinner themed breakfast nook, complete with faux red leather booth seats, instead of a dining room table. The kitchen itself had stainless steel and red appliances, with black granite counter tops. The living room has a large grey couch with white and red pillows, a white and glass coffee table and a huge TV with several game systems hooked up to it.  
“Tony, this is amazing.” You stutter looking around. It was everything you could have dreamed and more.  
“Well the finishing touch” He said pointing up at the ceiling. There was a beautiful picture of the night sky. There were stars everywhere, you couldn’t get enough of it. “It’s computer generated so if you ever get sick of it you can change it. You can put anything up there, pictures movies, porn, websites. Anything. I mean if you wanted, not everybody likes that feature.”  
“Thanks Tony I really appreciate it.” You said. He walked up to you and put his arm around you and started walking down a hallway.  
“Just wait till you see your room, by the way I have Bucky’s room across the hall and three doors down, so if you and who ever want to get into a little late night fun, and forget to activate the sound proofing he shouldn’t wake up.” You just laughed and opened the door to your room. Yet again it was perfect.  
It had a bed low to the ground, with a grey comforter and big white pillows. The ground was hardwood but it had a giant red shag rug in the middle. One wall was an entire storage area with different compartments. At least 10 were filled with books, new and old. A few others had various work out equipment, yoga mats, running shoes and the like. The ceiling was plain but outlined in fairy lights. The wall behind the bed was all brick. It had pictures of your mom and Bucky along with a few empty frames.  
“This way as we all get closer you can put pictures of us in the frames.” Tony explained. “Oh and by the way the window is fake and much like the ceilings it can project whatever you want.” Tony said pointing to the far wall, where a window sat.   
“Is that Naples?” You asked. Pointing to the screen.  
“Yeah, Bucky mentioned it was one of your favorite places, so I thought… Well home is home right?” He said rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay well I will let you get settled then if you need anything FRIDAY can help you.”  
“Thanks Tony. It’s perfect.” You said before he left. Bucky walked in a few seconds later to find you looking out the window.  
“It’s great isn’t it.” He asked you, you turned around.  
“How did you know Naples was my favorite place. I've never told anyone that ever.” You said leaning against the window sill.  
“Well I figured.” You kept staring unsatisfied with his answer. “It was the last place all three of us were together, you were 6. Next to Brooklyn it’s one of my favorite places too.” He started to leave again.  
“Thanks Bucky. For everything.” Bucky nodded and left the room. You let out a sigh, and started going through all your new stuff. Maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.


	2. Welcome to the tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up where the last chapter left off and they all go see Rocky horror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and everything guys always great to see the work is getting out there I have hope you enjoy and I'm sorry if I make any spelling mistakes or grammar or anything surprisingly I'm a solid writer who can't spell or use grammar correctly

"Hey how was dance class?" Bucky asked you from your spot on the couch. You had been living with the avengers for almost a week now, and tonight was your first dance class.  
"It was fun. Hard but fun." You said while walking into the kitchen for a bottle of water. "How was sparing with umm....?" You asked, you were still having a hard time with everyone's names.  
"Wanda. And it was good she one once or twice." You both laughed. "So umm you want to watch a movie or something?" Bucky asked. He had been trying to bond with you all week and sometimes it worked sometimes not.  
"Sure. What decade you want?" You asked. You were helping Bucky and Steve work there way through pop culture.  
"Didn't you say to show me and Steve some Disney movie stuff?" Bucky asked. You grinned late 90's Disney movies were your favorite.  
"Okay you call Steve I will make popcorn and find candy. FRIDAY be a dear and que up Smart House." You skipped off to the kitchen to make popcorn. Unfortunately you fell asleep about 3/4ths of the way through the movie.  
"That is one of the worst movies I have ever seen." Steve whispers to Bucky. About half way through the movie you fell asleep and now had your head on Bucky's lap and your feet under Steve.  
"We can't tell her that. She loves this movie." Bucky sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Do you think all her favorite moves are this bad?" Bucky asked. Steve just laughed.  
“Okay well I hope not. You want to start clean up and I'll go put her in bed?" Steve asked Bucky still laughing.  
"Yeah sure go ahead." Bucky said. He found it hard to be in your room with all the pictures you had of your mom and him from their hydra days in there.  
Steve stood up and picked you up bridal style. You snuggled up against his chest and let out a small sigh. He carried you to your room and layed you down in bed, then covering you up with your grey comforter. He looked up at your wall and sighed. You had added a few pictures of Bucky and Steve from the 40's, both before and after the serum. He walked out of your room and closed the door behind him.  
"Did you see she added some picture of us and the commandos?" He asked Bucky who was washing dishes in the kitchen.  
"No. I can't stand to look at the pictures." Bucky said turning around to look at Steve. "I hate it Steve what I did to her mom."  
"It wasn't your fault Buck. She doesn't blame you, no one does." Steve said. "I'm gonna head back to my floor. If you need anything let me know."  
"Yeah sure." Bucky said once Steve started to leave. He sighed and had FRIDAY turn off all the lights, and made his way to his room.  
-later that night-  
"Miss (Y/N), are you alright?" FRIDAY asked you. "Would you like me to alert Mr. Barnes?"The AI almost sounded genuinely concerned for you, something Tony probably programmed.  
"No I'll be fine. Thanks FRIDAY." You had just woken up from a terrible nightmare. You had them frequently, but you hadn't told Bucky yet. You knew he had them too and thought it would be selfish to complain to him because his were probably so much worse.  
"If I may miss. Mr. Barton is awake in the common area. He is currently watching Super Nanny and eating peanut butter. Other members of the tower often find it comforting to be in each other's company after an experience like yours. Mr. Stark is also awake in his lab if you would prefer." You smiled.  
"Thanks FRIDAY I will go visit them." You slid out of bed and grabbed a blanket wrapping it around you. You slid on some giant bunny slippers and padded out to the elevator, before directing FRIDAY to take you to the common floor.  
"Hey baby Barnes what's up?" Clint asked you when you stepped out of the elevator. You walked over to the couch and sat next to him.  
"Couldn't sleep FRIDAY said you were up thought you might enjoy some company." You said before taking the jar of peanut butter from Clint and eating a spoonful.  
"Dude. Don't steal my peanut butter." Hey said taking back the jar.  
"Too late" you giggled. "So supernanny huh?" You asked Clint didn't seem like a super nanny kind of guy to you.  
"Yeah it's pretty hilarious. Not to mention these kids are demons." You laughed. The two of you say like that in silence for a while before you let out a huge yawn. "You know if you want to lay down that's fine." Clint said. You just nodded and laid your head down on his shoulder. Before you knew it you were falling asleep to the sounds of Clint's gentle chuckle and screaming children.  
-The next night-  
"So what did you and Bucky think about that movie last night? Pretty rad right?" You and Steve were making dinner for everybody.  
"It was.... Interesting." Steve said. He was chopping vegetables for a salad while you worked on your famous spaghetti sauce.  
"You guys hated it huh?" You asked smirking.  
"We didn't hate it I just-" you cut him off laughing.  
"Steve it's okay. It's a terrible movie I know." You were both laughing now.  
"It was so bad. I don't understand why but it was so bad." You were both laughing when Bucky walked in.  
"What's so funny?" He asked smiling. He was glad you were getting along with everybody, he hadn't adjusted quite as well.  
"You and Steve hated my movie." Bucky looked flustered and started to stutter out an apologize. "No no it's fine Bucky. It's awful trust me I know."  
"Wait then why do you love it so much?" He asked you.  
"Because it's so bad. It's like rocky horror god awful movie but it's so bad it's funny." They looked confused. "Has no one shown you Rocky Horror Picture show?"  
"I think I would remember a movie called the Rocky Horror Picture show." Bucky said. You sighed and had FRIDAY send Tony up. A few seconds later Tony came screaming out of the elevator.  
"What happened!? What happened!? Is anyone hurt?" He stopped and looked around at you three. "There's no emergency?" You shook your head. "What the hell FRIDAY you said they had an emergency."  
"Well I mean a pop culture emergency." You said before Tony could resume yelling at his AI. "How come you haven't ever shown these guys Rocky Horror?" You asked.  
"Are you kidding me. You asked me down here to ask about why I haven't shown these guys one of the worst movies of all times. I thought you guys were dying!" Tony yelled. He then sighed and sat on the counter next to the fridge.  
"Okay so we have a movie for Thursday." You said.  
"What movie?" Clint asked. You screamed not realizing he was sitting atop the fridge. "Oh sorry did I do the creepy thing where I drop down and forget to mention I'm here."  
"No I just screamed because some other guy did that." Clint and Tony laughed, and you shook your head. "Bucky and Steve haven't seen the Rocky Horror picture show yet." Clint fake gasped.  
"Oh no the audacity! To be in (Y/N)s presence without seeing The Rocky Horror Picture show. How dare you." You threw a piece of carrot at him. "Ow geeze sorry."  
"That movie is cinematic history!" You sighed. Then had a great idea. "FOR THE NEXT TEAM BONDING THING WE SHOULD GO SEE IT LIVE!" you yelled.  
"What?" Bruce said as he walked into the kitchen.  
"Baby Barnes here and the brilliant idea to take grandpa one and two to go see Rocky Horror live. And I am in full agreement I mean I would pay good money to see Steve walk around in gold lamé shorts." Clint thought about it and laughed.  
"Bruce think about it. Steve could be Rocky and Bucky could be Eddie. And Natasha could be Colombia. Clint would make a great Brad. And Wanda could be Janet. And Just- please." You begged you had it all planned out.  
"I have on question." Tony said. "Can I be Frank-N-Furter?" You squealed and ran over to hug Tony. It had been a long time since you were this excited.  
"Why is (Y/N) so excited?" Pietro asked. He had just ran into the kitchen and grabbed a soda out of the fridge.  
"Can speedster be Riffraff?" Tony asked you. You just nodded with excitement. "Okay so we have to plan the crap out of this! (Y/N) meet me in the lab after dinner. We need to order costumes and figure it all out." Tony shouted.  
Soon after dinner you and Tony practically ran down to the lab. You decided to be Magenta, and have Natasha be Columbia. Wanda and Clint would be Brad and Janet. Tony called Frank-N-Furter, and you decided Bucky would make a great Eddie. Pietro would be Riffraff, Bruce would be Doctor Scott and Steve would be Rocky. You had FRIDAY order costumes and pre order tickets to the next Saturday showing.  
-Thursday Night-  
“I am so ready for this you guys have no idea!” You yelled before sitting on the couch next to Natasha and Steve.  
“I don’t understand why we are watching this movie if we are going to go see it on Saturday. That just seems redundant.” Steve sighed.  
“Because you need to be comfortable with the movie before you see the live version.” You explained. “The live version is fabulous, but you need to watch this first to understand what it’s about.”  
“Okay don’t ruin it for grandpa and let’s do this!” Tony yelled, before starting the movie. You loved every second of it. Tony and Clint enjoyed it a little too much, and Pietro fell asleep halfway through. Wanda and Natasha were smiling the entire time, and every few minutes Steve’s face would just start to blush like crazy.  
“That was significantly better than that other one you had us watch, I will admit to that.” Bucky said after it was done. You him and Steve were in the kitchen cleaning up the mess from that night, everyone else had gone to bed.  
“That was a cinematic masterpiece Bucky.” Steve mocked you. You all laughed.  
“Well, that cinematic masterpiece has made me tired as hell, so if you two don’t mind I’m going to go to bed.” Bucky said leaving the kitchen.  
“Night Bucky!” you guys yelled after him. then it was just you and Steve cleaning the kitchen in silence, you washed the dishes he dried and put away.  
“You know if you wanted (Y/N) I can do the rest. Super soldiers only need so much sleep.” Steve said, you smiled.  
“No it’s fine I don’t sleep much anyways.” You said. Regretting what you said the instant it slipped out.  
“Does Bucky know that?” Steve asked you, he sounded concerned.  
“No. And I would prefer it stay that way.” you told him.  
“May I ask why?” Steve said. He had stopped drying dishes and was leaning against the counter, you sighed and turned to face him.  
“Well you already did so.” You took a deep breath. “I have had nightmares since I was 7 Steve. The older I get the worse they are. I used to be able to go to sleep right after. Now a days, I can hardly go to sleep let alone stay asleep.” Steve looked worried. “I have tried everything, therapists make my head hurt, sleeping pills won’t let me wake up, everything Steve.”  
“You should tell him. He gets them too, we all do.” Steve said, you knew he was trying to be comforting, but it just wasn’t helping.  
“Steve please. He has a hard enough time sleeping, let alone if he had to comfort me everynight. Look I can manage. I just put on some movie, eat some peanut butter and wait to fall back asleep, or get up in the morning.” Steve gave you a strange look.  
“Peanut Butter?” He questioned.  
“Yeah. I’m too lazy to make peanut butter cookies like my mom used to so I settle for peanut butter.” He still looked confused. “When ever I had a nightmare when I was little she would give me peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, and chocolate milk.”  
“Can I ask what she was like? Bucky won’t talk about her. I mean I get why I just want to know. Never mind it’s stupid you don’t have to it’s fine.” he started to leave.  
“No Steve it’s fine.” He stopped and walked back. You pulled yourself up onto the counter thinking it would be a long conversation. “She was… great. She was a great agent, and she learned to be a pretty good mother. She was beautiful and talented. She taught me 30 different ways to kill someone with my bare hands before I was 8.” Steve just nodded. “She taught me russian, and english. Told me all about the proper way to clean a gun. She used to bake, surprisingly. She was great at it too.” You smiled remembering all the times you used to help her in the kitchen.  
“She sounds great.” Steve said.  
“She was. I mean obviously not all the time but, for the most part. I remember one time when I was 5 she gave me to Bucky for a day, and he took me to Coney Island. He was fascinated by the Cyclone for some reason. I remember once she went on a mission and left me with this old friend of hers, who ran a fake dance school in Russia. It was really a cover for a spy academy. They at least taught me some ballet, I mean I was 4 but all the same. This one time I we got to do a mission together. Me her, and Bucky, in Naples Italy. We had to pretend to be a family for six months. It was great, I got to go to a real school and come home to a mom and a dad. We had dinner together every night, and they would tuck me in to bed.” You were crying now. “Bucky used to tell me stories about this group of guys who would go around beating up bullies. Now that I think about it, it was probably about you and the commandos." Steve walks over to you and pulls you into a hug, you let your head fall into his chest.  
"I'm sorry. About all of it, (Y/N)." He kissed you gently on top of your head. "And I wish I could change it. But I can't, and I'm sorry." You sniffled a few times. "But I know Bucky would want to know if you're having nightmares. Most nights he just goes and hangs out with Clint or watches me sleep." You laughed. "I'm not kidding. I'll wake up and find him sitting in a chair staring at me. It's creepy."  
"Thanks Steve. I'll think about it but right now I think it's better to keep him in the dark for a bit. Just for now." Steve took a step back and nodded.  
"Okay. Goodnight (Y/N)." And with that Steve left you. You sighed and quickly finished the dishes. You walked to the elevator and went up to your floor. You grabbed a glass of water and headed down to your room. Just as you headed out Clint walked out of Bucky's room.  
"What are you doing?" He asked you, had stopped mid walk.  
"Going to bed. What are you doing?" You asked. You were supposed to be on this floor he wasn't.  
"I uh. Dropped into the wrong room on accident." He said. You just shrugged it off and said good night.  
As you laid in bed you thought about what Steve said. Maybe you should tell Bucky. He could probably help, not to mention he could probably use the help. Maybe you and Bucky weren't so different. Who knows if that's a good thing or not but for now at least you knew you were similar in more ways than just career choices.


	3. Chapter 3 because I suck at this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers and reader go to see Rocky Horror also Natasha is a jerk, and Bucky and Clint are totally screwing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter three, thanks for everything guys

Friday morning you woke up with a groan. You did not make a good morning person ever, and it really didn’t help when FRIDAY had sunlight streaming in your fake window like no tomorrow. You sat up and rubbed your eyes before screaming.  
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING NATASHA!?” She was watching you sleep, sitting in a chair reading an old book of yours.  
“Well, I was reading this book, before somebody rudely interrupted. She sighed and sat the book down. “I have news.” She told you.  
“Okay well I haven’t had coffee yet.” She handed you a mug. You took a sip from it. “Not enough sugar, continue with this news.” She rolled her eyes at you before continuing.  
“First off, Steve likes you. Like a lot.” You started to say something but she cut you off. “Second thing, Bucky and Clint are totally screwing, and I’m not allowed to tell anyone so you don’t know this.” You looked at her like she was crazy.  
“First Steve does not like me, he’s just looking out for Bucky. Second holy fuck how when where and what?” She went to say something but you held a finger up. “Third, as much as I love you never sneak into my room again, I will kill you.” she laughed, as if she had to sneak in there.  
“Steve is totally in love with you, he doesn’t usually offer to do the dishes for any one. Not to mention he carried you to bed the other night, and he kissed your head while you were crying. Last time anyone fell asleep on him he just left them on the couch.” Natasha says, she was pretty dang convincing but you still didn’t buy into it.  
“What ever,” you sighed blowing it off. “what is up with Clint and Bucky? Are they just screwing or are they dating and just hiding it.” Natasha groaned.  
“I don’t know Clint won’t tell me. All I know is the other day he was whistling and doing this stupid little dance he does after he gets laid, in the shooting range and when I asked him he got all defensive.”  
“So how do you know it’s Bucky?” You asked, Clint may be getting laid but that doesn’t mean it was with Bucky.  
“I asked again, at 2 in the morning when he was drunk as hell. How else?” You sighed and leaned back against your headboard.  
“Clint and Bucky are banging.” you sat in silence for a second. “Well that explains why he was in Buckys room last night.” Natasha sat up hurriedly, but you answered before she could even ask the question. “Last night, after I was done talking to Steve, I came back up here did my usual night routine, walked down past Buckys room and ran into Clint. He said he dropped into the wrong room, I didn’t bother thinking anything of it.”  
“Well now we know. Oh by the way you don’t know.” She said. You nodded and drank the last of your coffee.  
“Okay. Well, I have things to do today, so if you excuse me I am leaving.” you said, before walking into your bathroom.  
-Saturday Night-  
“Okay guys, be prepared for the greatest adventure of your life.” You said, you had all piled into one of Tony’s limos and were on your way to Rocky horror.  
"I still don't understand why Steve gets to be Rocky." Clint complained. He was grumpy that he was Brad.  
"Why are you complaining Legolas? Brad is the main guy. Plus he gets to walk around in underwear too." Tony said. He took his role very seriously but rather than give away his identity as Tony stark he wore the lab coat costume. Everybody else wore relatively accurate costumes.  
"I'm still not super sure about this guys. I mean these things hardly fit me." Steve said pulling at his Rocky shorts once again.  
"Don't worry Steve you look great." Natasha told him. "Right (Y/N)?" She asked you.  
"Yeah Steve you look great." You told him before glaring at Natasha. “I don’t know guys this seems a little excessive.” Steve says, pulling at his shorts again. “I mean can’t I at least put on a shirt or something.”  
“You look great Steve. I mean your are literally the peak of human perfection.” Natasha said. “Right (Y/N) doesn’t Steve look great?” You glared at her before turning to Steve.  
“You look perfect Steve. Don’t worry about it.” Steve sighed and nodded.  
“Well as great as this conversation is we are here so get out of my car!” tony yelled you all laughed and headed out of the car.  
-Later that night-  
“Wasn’t it great?” You all had just gotten back from seeing Rocky Horror. You sat in between Natasha and Steve, and pretended not to notice how close Clint and Bucky sat next to each other.  
“It was pretty great.” Steve said. “I had a lot of fun thanks (Y/N).” Natasha bumped your shoulder so you bumped into Steve.  
“Whoops sorry guys, I must have tripped.” She said smirking, you just glared. She had done the same thing to Bucky and Clint on the way to the show.  
“Well, thank you baby Barnes for the wonderful adventure but I believe I have a plane to catch. I will return by Thursday.” Tony said, he had just finished changing out of his costume. He gave everybody a hug and left.  
“Wait if Tony’s leaving who am I supposed to work with this week?” You asked, technically you were still on probation.  
“Oh I have you for the week.” Clint said. “I need some help re-organizing arrows, and completing mission reports for Phil.”  
“Joy.” you said sarcastically.  
“Well, it’s getting late so I am going to head to bed.” Bruce said.  
“I am going to go to.” Pietro said.  
“Same.” Wanda replied. Soon everybody left until it was just Steve, Bucky, Clint and yourself. To say it was awkward in the room was an understatement.  
“I’m going to grab some peanut butter. You want some (Y/N)?” Clint asked you, you scoffed.  
“Is that supposed to be a question?” You laughed as he shook his head and went into the kitchen. He came back with a jar and two spoons, he handed you one and sat next to you.  
“How the heck do you guys do that?” Bucky asked, he looked disgusted. Apparently peanut butter wasn’t his thing.  
“It’s good.” Clint defended. You just nodded enthusiastically.  
“Does anyone else really want some chocolate chip cookies?” Steve asked. “Because I feel the need to bake cookies.”  
“Steve it’s almost midnight, we are not making cookies.” Bucky said. “Here eat some of this.” He reached over and grabbed Clint’s spoon and gave it to Steve.  
“Yeah thanks Buck, but I’m not sharing a spoon with your boyfriend.” Clint’s eyes went wide. And Bucky just stared with an open mouth before he started sputtering out.  
"What - pfft. Uhh where did you hear that Steve?" Bucky asked.  
"Hear what?" Steve completely oblivious.  
“That me and Clint are boyfriends?” Bucky said nervously.  
"Wait are you actually dating!?" Steve exclaimed. Bucky just got flustered and Clint just started blushing like crazy.  
"Well I mean I wouldn't call it dating. It's just... We're just... I don't know what it is okay!" Clint says. You and Steve just stare at him and Bucky. Clint lets out a loud sigh and gets up from the couch. "I'm going to bed." He starts walking down the hallway, Bucky gets up and follows.  
"Yeah I'm gonna go to." You clear your throat and Clint and Bucky turn to you with a. Grim look on their faces.  
"You guys want to sleep on Clint's floor tonight because I assume you're going to sleep." You make quotations around the word sleep. You and Steve are smirking like crazy and Bucky is just blushing up a storm.  
"You know what just for that we are going to sleep" he uses the air quotes "on Bucky's floor. And I will be loud." He pauses.  
"-er than usual?" Bucky asks finishing his sentence. You and Steve erupt into full laughter, grabbing your stomachs and nearly tearing up. The two just walk away.  
"Fine whatever I'll sleep on the couch bye have fun use protection!" You yell after them. You and Steve sit there laughing for a bit before it got awkward..  
"You know if you want I have a spare room on my floor." He suggested. "It's probably more comfortable than the couch, and you can’t be woken up by anybody early in the morning.  
"Thanks Steve that’s really nice of you." You say. “So you want to watch TV or something?” You asked you weren’t tired, but didn’t want to keep sitting here awkwardly.  
“Sure, anything in particular?” Steve asked you.  
“FRIDAY play How I Met Your Mother season one episode one please.” you asked smiling.  
“Oh I have heard of this it’s supposed to be really good.” Steve says. He gets up from the couch and walks into the kitchen. “Hey you want anything while I’m in here or are you good with peanut butter?” he asks you.  
“Can you grab me some water and a banana? Oh also if you still want cookies Tony keeps some hidden behind the boxes of multigrain mac and cheese.” you informed him.  
“Why would he keep them way back there he asks sitting next to you and handing you your snacks.  
“Because who on earth would eat the crappy mac and cheese?” you ask, Steve just shrugs. You end up watching the first three episodes before deciding to call it a night.  
"Do you want some clothes to sleep in?" Steve asks you in the elevator. "I assume you don't want to go to your floor and i have extra clothes."  
"That would be great Steve thanks." You said. You walked down the hall towards Steve's room and waited outside for him to grab you clothes.  
"Here these are the smallest ones I have." He said giving you a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt.  
"Thanks Steve. I'll see you tomorrow." You walked across the hall and changed into his clothes. They were about three sizes too big, but it was better than wearing your Rocky Horror costume. You climbed into bed and soon drifted off to sleep.  
You woke up to the sounds of screaming. You think it was yours but maybe it was someone else's. Maybe both. You look around and find yourself in a dirty old warehouse. The walls were rusted and had bugs crawling up them. The few windows there were let bright moonlight in casting dark shadows everywhere. Suddenly you looked down to see yourself holding a gun it was pointed directly at a faceless man and a faceless woman. You instantly knew it was a dream. It had happened many times before the man and woman would suddenly change faces every time you shot them. Each face was that of a victim you killed in real life. You always woke up before you got to the end of them dream. You let off the first shot trying to ignore the helpless screams they let out. The faces changed and you she again tears streaming down your face. You shot again and again you were screaming and crying wishing you could stop. Then suddenly you were jolted awake. You looked up to see a shirtless Steve with bed head sitting on your beds with a worried expression on his face.  
"(Y/N) are you okay?" He asked. You shook your head no still crying. He brought your head into his chest and rubbed your back with slow gentle motions. “it’s going to be okay, just breathe.”  
“It’s not going to be okay Steve!” you yelled pushing away from him. “I killed them. All of them. There are people out there dead because of what I did. Everyone I have ever gotten close to is dead, you tell me how I am going to be okay when everyone I love dies.” Steve just sits silently as you cry. After a few minutes he speaks up again.  
“There are a lot of people dead because of me too you know.” He says softly. “I know it isn’t the same but I have blood on my hands too. We all do.”  
“But you didn’t want to kill them. You did what you had to to protect the people you love.” You say.  
“And you did it because you haven’t ever known anything else. You said yourself you were born and raised to be an assassin.” Steve told you. “That is not your fault. Yeah a lot of people are dead because of us, because of all of us, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t worth loving.” you scoffed at him.  
“Please Steve no one loves me, no one can love me.” You told him.  
“I love you.” He said. You looked up at him with a sad look.  
“No you don’t Steve. You think you do but you don’t.” He looked down at the bed. “No one can love me Steve. It’s not just because it’s dangerous it’s because once you see the real me you leave. Everybody leaves.” He looked up at you and said.  
“I’m not going anywhere any time soon. Because I do love you, and I know you. It may not be the real you but I see parts of her sometimes. She likes to eat peanut butter and watch 90’s movies because she never got a real childhood. She hates letting people near her emotionally, but is secretly a giant cuddler. She is great with organization, but she hates to clean which is confusing. I know you. So please (Y/N) just let me love you.” You had stopped crying. He was holding your hand.  
“Steve we can’t. Your Bucky’s best friend, and technically I am his daughter. We can’t do this. It isn’t right.” You pulled your hand away and got up from the bed.  
“No.” Steve said standing in front of you. “Bucky loves us both, and yeah you are his daughter but I mean you don’t act like it neither of you do. If anything your like siblings and trust me Bucky doesn’t care if I go out with his siblings, he spent 12 years trying to get me to date his sister.”  
“What if I care?” you asked. “What if I don’t want to date you Steve? In the last 20 minutes you have told me you love me three different times and I haven’t said it once.” He steps closer to you so you were inches away from each other.  
“If you don’t want this then leave, but if any part of you does, forget about Bucky forget that we are killers forget everything, then stay. You don’t have to tell me you love me, but if you want this then stay.” You looked up at him and looked deep into his eyes. And then you kissed him. You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck, he had one hand on the small of your back pulling you closer to him the other on your neck fingers running through your hair. When you finally pulled away you were both gasping for air, faces flushed hair going in all sorts of directions.  
“We can’t tell Bucky.” You said once you calmed down a bit.  
“Agreed.” Steve said.  
“Can’t tell Bucky what?” You both looked to the door to see Clint standing in the doorway wearing one of Bucky’s shirts and some sweats holding a jar of peanut butter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve reader figure out what's going on between them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picks up where last chapter left off. Some almost smut type stuff towards the end but not smut I guess yeah okay

"Can't tell Bucky what?" Clint asks again. You look over to see Steve trying not to get flustered.   
"About the nightmares." You blurt out. "I had a really bad one and Steve heard me so he came in to help. But I still haven't told Bucky so I told him not to tell him. We can't tell Bucky and neither can you."  
"Yeah no got it sorry." Clint said. Steve stared at you in disbelief. "Well umm I'm going to go watch Don't Trust the B in Apartment 23 if you want to watch with me." You nodded and Clint left you and Steve alone.  
"Look I will come back and we can talk tomorrow but for now justo back to bed and don't tell anyone about tonight okay?" You told Steve. You got up from the bed and started to walk away, but Steve grabbed you wrist and pulled you into another kiss.  
"Okay." He said when you pulled away. You smiled and left and went to join Clint on the couch. You grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around yourself before sitting on the couch.  
"Have you ever seen this show before?" Clint asked you. He handed you a spoon of peanut butter which you took.  
"No is it any good?" You asked, he scoffed at you.   
"Would I be watching it if it wasn't." You laughed. You spent the rest of the night watching the show with Clint. He was right it was funny. You fell asleep after the third or fourth episode, when you woke up Clint was gone and in his place was a note saying to meet him in the gym ready to work out in 30 minutes. You went up to your own floor and took a quick shower changed into workout gear. You grabbed 2 bottles of water and a bagel. You ate one of the bagels and a bottle of water in the elevator before entering the gym. You found Clint and Natasha sparring in the center of the room, the rest of the gym was empty.  
“Hey guys.” You yelled so they could hear you. You set your stuff down on a bench and started to stretch. You watched as the finished up, Natasha ended up winning. Then Clint walked over to you and Natasha left.  
“So since Stark is out you're all mine this week.” He said. “So today we are training down here for a while then we’re going to go through and organize all my arrows.”  
“Okay well should we start then?” you asked, you tended to be a bit impatient.  
“Yeah let’s go.” He said. You started out on a treadmill, then worked over to the punching bags, and some of the weights. Near the end you just sparred with each other.  
“You want to grab some lunch?” Clint asked after your sixth sparring run. “Because I could definitely go for some chinese food right about now.” You laughed.  
“Sure let’s go.” You end up going to this chinese place down the street that apparently has the world’s best fried rice.  
“So just out of curiosity why haven’t you told Bucky about the nightmares?” Clint asks you about half way through your meal. You stop eating immediately and just stare at him. “I don’t mean to pressure you or anything I was just wondering because.” He stops and sighs. “Look I care about him a lot okay? And you mean a lot to him, he doesn’t show it much but he really does okay. I mean I get why you wouldn’t want to tell him, but I think you should let him in.”  
“I haven’t told him because he doesn’t need to know. Look I care about him too, but he doesn’t need to worry about me too, I can handle myself.” You said.  
“But you don’t need to. And I mean no offence maybe you’re used to hiding yourself from the world, but you can’t hide from us. We know you, because we are you.” Clint said.  
"Look I'll do it when I'm ready okay?" You both finished you meal in silence. When you got back to the tower Clint gave you the rest of the day off said he needed to do some confidential work for Phil.  
Mildly frustrated you went to the gym. You got on a treadmill and started running. You kept running just thinking about the events of the last few days. Clint and Bucky are dating you made out with Steve who told you he loves you. You lied to Clint, and you still haven't told Bucky about the nightmares. The next thing you know Steve walks into the gym.  
"(Y/N)? You okay?" he asked you. He approached you stopping a few feet behind you.  
"What?" You stopped running and turned to face him. "Oh yeah just overwhelmed. Don't worry about it." You have him a fake smile and walked closer to him.  
"So can we talk about last night?" He asked you awkwardly. "I just wanted to say sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything." He started to apologize but you cut him off.  
"Uncomfortable? Steve I was far from uncomfortable." You said. "It's okay. We still on the same page though?" You asked.  
"By same page do you mean I love you and we are going to try this" he motions between you "but we aren't telling anyone." You nodded.  
"No one." You stood there for a second just looking at each other before you reach up and kiss him. It was an epic kiss you hands on the sides of his face, his hands locking onto your hips. It was all tongue and teeth, poorly coordinated but it was also loving and passionate and wonderful.  
"We should take this somewhere more private." Steve said pulling away.  
"You room. It's closer." You said he grabbed your hand and you ran into the elevator. You were in the elevator making out when JARVIS suddenly interrupted.   
"Excuse me Captain and ms. Barnes," you groaned and stopped kissing Steve resting your head on his chest. "but I thought I should warn you that ms. Romanov is approaching. Would you like me to continue to your requested floor or stop for her?" You sighed figuring Steve would want to stop.  
"No keep going." Steve said. "But hurry if you could." You stared at him in shock. "What?" He asked when he saw you looking at him.   
"Who would have thought captain America would make someone wait for an elevator." You both laughed.  
"Yeah let's just say Steve Rogers isn't exactly the all American Boy Scout everyone assumes he is." You laughed and leaned up to kiss him gently but that ended up in you guys passionately making out again.  
The elevator slid open and Steve picks you up by your waist. You wrap you legs around his torso and his hands slide under your thighs. You made your way to his room running into a few walls here and there. You got to his room and he slammed you against the door fumbling for the handle. You made your way inside where you took off his shirt. He put you down on his bed and started to take off your shirt.  
"Wait Steve." He stopped and backed away from you. "Uh just before you do this you should know there's a bunch of scars. It's not pretty I get shot a lot. So if you don't want to I get it I just thought you would want to know" he laughed and walked closer to you again.  
"I don't care about scars babe. It's okay." He kissed you gently this time. "We good now?" You nodded your head and smiled kissing him again. You were kissing again hands roaming over heat little moans slipping from both of you. You ran your hands through his hair before having them work their way down to get his pants off.He pulled away again and you groaned.  
"Okay I may not be a Boy Scout but we haven't been on a date. We should go on at least one date or something right?" You laughed.  
"I mean if you want yeah dates are nice I guess." You sat up again.  
“I have to take you on a date before we do this” he said backing away. You put your shirt back on and watched as Steve bent over to get his. “So dinner tomorrow 6 o’clock?” He asked you.  
“Isn’t tomorrow tuesday” You asked him.  
“Yeah so?” Steve replied slipping his shirt back on.  
“Nothing, just think it’s cute.” Steve made a face as to say I am so not cute. “It is cute you are cute. So eager to date me." You stood up and approached him. "I like it." You leaned up and kissed him. "A lot." You pulled away and walked out of his room shutting the door behind you and walking into the elevator.


	5. Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and reader argue. Some other stuff happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been on a hiatus of sorts college apps and school is killing me but I have some spare time for a while so I should be able to get more writing done.  
> Usual warnings violence sort of PTSD kissing the like

"I told you she shouldn't have come." Bucky said bursting into your hotel room. "She got shot. Damn it Steve I said it was too dangerous!" You laid on the cheap motel room bed Bruce stitching up your arm where you got grazed by a bullet.

"First of all it's a graze trust me I've had worse, second if I wasn't here Natasha probably would have actually gotten shot." Bruce cut the thread and started to bandage your arm. 

"The stitches are precautionary. Try not to make it bleed again. If you guys need me I'll be in my room." He packed his bag and headed out.

“I'm gonna head out to, need FRIDAY to run some specs.” Tony says following Bruce out, clearly trying to avoid the fight that was about to come.

“You got shot-” Bucky started. You rolled your eyes and cut him off.

“Grazed. I was grazed and you heard Bruce I don't even really need the stitches. I'm fine Natasha might be dead if I wasn't here today.” You said. You heard Clint mutter something about stupid genetics over from the old faded yellow couch.

“Natasha can take care of herself.” Bucky started.

“But she shouldn't have to!” You yelled. “Don't try any of this crap on me Bucky. For the first time in who knows how long I am part of a team. I get to be something and do something with other people. You of all people should know what that feels like.” You yelled.

“No I get it! But I can hardly remember all those years! You can remember.” He yelled. You shook your head.

“Did you even read my file?” You whispered. “They wiped me too Bucky. Every 6 months. Like clockwork. The only things I remember are from my HYDRA file and a file my mother left for me on an old hard drive.” Bucky's face fell. “I don't remember any of my life. But you, and Steve. Clint, Bruce, Tony, Natasha. You all make me remember. Make me feel like more than an assassin, a killer without any emotions.” You both fell silent, staring at each other for what felt like eternity.

“Can I see the file?” He asks softly.

“No.” You answered. He just nods his head and walks out, Clint gets up and leaves to nodding goodbye to you and Steve. You threw on a shirt and crawled into bed. You laid there for a while before you felt Steve lie next to you. You roll into your side and rest your head on his chest. He wraps his arms around you and kisses your hair.

“I'm sorry. I should have told you.” You whisper.

“No. You don't have to.” You start crying softly. “I get it. It's not your fault, none of it's your fault.” You spend the rest of the night like that curled up into Steve, you spent the night just a listening to each other breathe neither saying a word.

The next morning you both got up wordlessly, got dressed and got onto the jet. You sat alone towards the back. You put in headphones and stared off into the distance. When you got back to the tower you went straight to your floor, grabbed a bunch of snacks and headed into your room and locked the door. You went in took a shower, and went to bed making sure to redress your wound properly first.

-three days later-

“(Y/N), you need to open the door. Please we are trying to help you.” Bucky pleads. After the mission you locked yourself in your room and hadn't left.

“Go away Bucky.” You yelled back. You threw an empty bag of your favorite chips into the trash a and pressed next episode on Netflix. You decided to watch friends again it helped soothe you. You heard some whispered arguing outside and then heard someone walk away.

“(Y/N), it's Steve. I'm not going to ask you to come out, I'm just asking you to let me in. I need to make sure you're okay. Maybe I'll bring you more food, or something. Please just let me in.” You sat and listened to him then just say in silence. You heard him sigh and sit down leaning against your door. “I am just going to sit outside your door then.” You got up and leaned against the door, pulling your legs up towards your chest.

“I'm not ready.” You whisper. “I need some time.”

“It's okay.” You sit there together just listening to the other breathe through the door. For hours you listen to Steve breathe, in, out, in, out.

“I'm going on a mission tomorrow. Three weeks.” Steve says. “I'm not trying to guilt you into opening the door just thought you would want to know.” You hear him stand up, and realize it's almost midnight. “Also Bucky has FRIDAY monitoring your door so he can catch you if you leave through there.” You hear his footsteps as he walks away.  
After a few minutes you get up and take a shower, eat a granola bar and then climb up into the air vents. Thanks to Clint you know your way around them all pretty well so finding your way to Steve's floor isn't hard at all. You drop down into the guest room and walk over to his room. You stop in front of the door and knock softly. You hear some rustling before Steve opens the door.

“Hi.” You say. You rub your arm nervously. Steve stands in the doorway in pajamas, well pajama pants. He motions in you inside with a tilt of his head. You walk inside and sit down on his bed.

“So umm..” Steve starts, but you cut him off before he can say anything.

“Can we not talk?” You ask he nods, and sits next to you. “Good” you say before leaning over and kissing him.


	6. Chapter6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit sorry I forgot to update this.

"I told you she shouldn't have come." Bucky said bursting into your hotel room. "She got shot. Damn it Steve I said it was too dangerous!" You laid on the cheap motel room bed Bruce stitching up your arm where you got grazed by a bullet.  
"First of all it's a graze trust me I've had worse, second if I wasn't here Natasha probably would have actually gotten shot." Bruce cut the thread and started to bandage your arm.   
"The stitches are precautionary. Try not to make it bleed again. If you guys need me I'll be in my room." He packed his bag and headed out.  
“I'm gonna head out to, need FRIDAY to run some specs.” Tony says following Bruce out, clearly trying to avoid the fight that was about to come.  
“You got shot-” Bucky started. You rolled your eyes and cut him off.  
“Grazed. I was grazed and you heard Bruce I don't even really need the stitches. I'm fine Natasha might be dead if I wasn't here today.” You said. You heard Clint mutter something about stupid genetics over from the old faded yellow couch.  
“Natasha can take care of herself.” Bucky started.  
“But she shouldn't have to!” You yelled. “Don't try any of this crap on me Bucky. For the first time in who knows how long I am part of a team. I get to be something and do something with other people. You of all people should know what that feels like.” You yelled.  
“No I get it! But I can hardly remember all those years! You can remember.” He yelled. You shook your head.  
“Did you even read my file?” You whispered. “They wiped me too Bucky. Every 6 months. Like clockwork. The only things I remember are from my HYDRA file and a file my mother left for me on an old hard drive.” Bucky's face fell. “I don't remember any of my life. But you, and Steve. Clint, Bruce, Tony, Natasha. You all make me remember. Make me feel like more than an assassin, a killer without any emotions.” You both fell silent, staring at each other for what felt like eternity.  
“Can I see the file?” He asks softly.  
“No.” You answered. He just nods his head and walks out, Clint gets up and leaves to nodding goodbye to you and Steve. You threw on a shirt and crawled into bed. You laid there for a while before you felt Steve lie next to you. You roll into your side and rest your head on his chest. He wraps his arms around you and kisses your hair.  
“I'm sorry. I should have told you.” You whisper.  
“No. You don't have to.” You start crying softly. “I get it. It's not your fault, none of it's your fault.” You spend the rest of the night like that curled up into Steve, you spent the night just a listening to each other breathe neither saying a word.  
The next morning you both got up wordlessly, got dressed and got onto the jet. You sat alone towards the back. You put in headphones and stared off into the distance. When you got back to the tower you went straight to your floor, grabbed a bunch of snacks and headed into your room and locked the door. You went in took a shower, and went to bed making sure to redress your wound properly first.  
-three days later-  
“(Y/N), you need to open the door. Please we are trying to help you.” Bucky pleads. After the mission you locked yourself in your room and hadn't left.  
“Go away Bucky.” You yelled back. You threw an empty bag of your favorite chips into the trash a and pressed next episode on Netflix. You decided to watch friends again it helped soothe you. You heard some whispered arguing outside and then heard someone walk away.  
“(Y/N), it's Steve. I'm not going to ask you to come out, I'm just asking you to let me in. I need to make sure you're okay. Maybe I'll bring you more food, or something. Please just let me in.” You sat and listened to him then just say in silence. You heard him sigh and sit down leaning against your door. “I am just going to sit outside your door then.” You got up and leaned against the door, pulling your legs up towards your chest.  
“I'm not ready.” You whisper. “I need some time.”  
“It's okay.” You sit there together just listening to the other breathe through the door. For hours you listen to Steve breathe, in, out, in, out.  
“I'm going on a mission tomorrow. Three weeks.” Steve says. “I'm not trying to guilt you into opening the door just thought you would want to know.” You hear him stand up, and realize it's almost midnight. “Also Bucky has FRIDAY monitoring your door so he can catch you if you leave through there.” You hear his footsteps as he walks away. After a few minutes you get up and take a shower, eat a granola bar and then climb up into the air vents. Thanks to Clint you know your way around them all pretty well so finding your way to Steve's floor isn't hard at all. You drop down into the guest room and walk over to his room. You stop in front of the door and knock softly. You hear some rustling before Steve opens the door.  
“Hi.” You say. You rub your arm nervously. Steve stands in the doorway in pajamas, well pajama pants. He motions in you inside with a tilt of his head. You walk inside and sit down on his bed.  
“So umm..” Steve starts, but you cut him off before he can say anything.  
“Can we not talk?” You ask he nods, and sits next to you. “Good” you say before leaning over and kissing him.


End file.
